Picture Story: Daffy's Lower Half

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AngryBeavers
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Picture Story: Daffy's Lower Half

Postby AngryBeavers » Fri Sep 24, 2004 5:56 pm

Here is a new game I thought up. Where I start a story, based on the picture provided, and then the next members continue the story based on what the picture consists of. It's sort of a chainlink fanfic story. I'll start.

Image

Bugs: I told you not to stand so close to that bomb! Look what it did to your lower half!

Daffy: Yeah, but look! I've made my own connect-the-dots project.

Bugs: Oh, brudder. Well, we better go find a way to get you a bottom half. Any suggestions?

Daffy: We could call ACME. The have a never-ending supply of everything.

Bugs: Okay. (takes out cell phone)

To be continued..... by the next user.....
A message board without humor is chaos.

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Daffysleftfoot
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Postby Daffysleftfoot » Fri Sep 24, 2004 11:11 pm

Cell phone starts ringing

Bugs: Start talkin', it's your Sprint minutes.

Phone: I caaaaaan seeeeeeeeee yooooooooou.

Bugs: Well, me and Daffy are outdoors you know. Lots of people can see us.

Phone: But I'm looking at both of you through a scope.

Bugs: Is your breath dat bad? I'm coitainly glad you phoned then.

Phone: Grrrrrrrrr! I have a sniper rifle aimed at you, you dope.

Bugs: Did you remember to take the safety off?

Phone: Hold on I'll check. *KA-BLAM*

Bugs: Did you shoot yourself?

Phone: No!.............. SHUT UP!

Bugs: Wait, I know who dis is. It's none other than............

To be continued.........
Jesus Needs Help - buy it on Amazon as well as on Kindle.
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J. B. Warner
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Postby J. B. Warner » Sat Sep 25, 2004 8:23 am

BUGS: Elmer, is dat you?

ELMER: (turning off his voice disguiser) Oh, you got me, wabbit. I figured that since I can never outwit you and that cwazy duck face-to-face, I might as well take up sniping. Heh-heh-heh-heh.

BUGS: Where are you anyway?

Bugs turns around and sees Elmer waving from a clock tower.

ELMER: Hewwo!

BUGS: Look, doc, we need to find the duck a prosthetic lower half. Now, do you know the quickest route to de ACME warehouse?

ELMER: Oh, I don't know where that is. I've awways twusted Ajax for aww my hunting needs.

BUGS: T'anks, you've been no help at all. Oh, by the way...wabbit season.

DAFFY: Oh no you don't! Duck season! Fire!

A bullet fires from the clock tower and knocks Daffy's beak off. Bugs promptly hangs up.

DAFFY: (reattaching his beak) You're dethpicable, you know that?...So now what do we do?

BUGS: Hmm, we need to find out how to get to the ACME warehouse, so it only makes sense to ask their number one customer...

DAFFY: Looks like we're off to the Southwest desert. I'll get the zinc oxide, then.

To be continued
:bugs2: This post is intended for adult collectors and may contain material that is unsuitable for younger children. :daffy:


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Boy Wonder
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Postby Boy Wonder » Sat Sep 25, 2004 2:24 pm

Daffy: I heard I could lost weight if I could connect the dots.
Bugs: Maybe its Maybelline?
Daffy: WHAT?!?!?
Bugs: Yeah, just rub some Maybelline on the "too fat" parts and see your body disappear in a few seconds.
Daffy: Well, I found this in a easter egg for a DVD based on my life.
Bugs: Oh, you can't get out of this unless I eject the disk and see you are at about lets say 245 pounds.
Daffy: Yeah, you raised my self-esteem.
:ysam:Open the bridge varmint, open it I say....

CLOSE IT CLOSE IT, CLOSE IT UP AGAIN....:ysam:

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J. B. Warner
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Postby J. B. Warner » Mon Sep 27, 2004 10:26 pm

DAFFY: Anyway, enough of this banter, when do we get to the desert?

BUGS: Well, if my calculations are correct, we oughta be right under Albuquerque.

Bugs drills a hole out of the ground and pops up. He squints in the desert sunlight.

BUGS: Bingo! Hey, Duck, come take a look at this.

Daffy pops out, and Bugs points to a pile of birdseed with a piece of fishing wire buried under it.

Image

DAFFY: Hmm, free food! I've always thought birdseed was a little dry, but hey, beggars can't be choosers.

Daffy scoops up the seeds and swallows them. Immediately the fishing line yanks him out of the hole and across the desert, over several cacti and finally pulling him to a stop before Wile E. Coyote, holding the business end of a fishing rod. Wile E. snaps his fingers in frustration and drops the rod. Daffy dusts himself off as Bugs walks over.

BUGS: Having fun yet?

DAFFY: I don't know what you're basing that on, but no.

BUGS: Wile E. Coyote! Just the man I was looking for. So, what's up, Doc?

Wile E. points upward to an anvil hoisted over the road. The Road Runner is quickly approaching, evident by the dust cloud in the distance.

ROAD RUNNER: Meep meep!

Wile E. holds up the end of the tied-down rope keeping the anvil in place and raises a hatchet, preparing to cut the rope in two.

BUGS: Hey, Lobo, whenever you can spare the time...

Wile E. shushes him. Finally, the Road Runner zooms by and Wile E. cuts the rope - and the anvil stays suspended in midair. Perplexed, Wile E. walks over to where the anvil should drop and looks up at it. Daffy examines the rope.

DAFFY: Oh, here's your problem, it's just snagged between these two rocks here...

Daffy loosens the rope and goes flying, getting yanked through the pulley wheel. The anvil lands atop Wile E.'s head, and Daffy lands on top of the anvil, disheveled.

BUGS: Eh, I knew it was gonna happen, I just wanted to watch.

To be continued...
:bugs2: This post is intended for adult collectors and may contain material that is unsuitable for younger children. :daffy:


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Matthew Hunter
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Postby Matthew Hunter » Tue Sep 28, 2004 2:27 am

Bugs: "Eh, I don't think the coyote's in the mood to help ya today...but I'm sure he's flattened...err, flattered that ya asked. Come on Daffy, let's keep walkin'. Maybe there's somebody else in dis desert who can repair yer lower half."

Bugs and Daffy walk down the road.

Daffy: "I'm THSO thertain of that. Look rabbit, there's a rock over there, maybe it can help me. Hey, that cactus over there looks like a friendly feller. Road sign? Oh yeah, I know the sthpeed limit now! And you know what, we need to break it and get the heck outta here!"
Image

Bugs: "Calm down, Daffy. I think the heat's gettin' to ya. Let's go sit in the shadow of that rock. If any more hot air gets into that head of yours, who knows what can happen...ya got enough of that as it is!"

-They go to a shady rock and sit down against it.

Daffy: "Yeah...maybe I need to cool off. Whenever the heat gets to me I lose my cool. My temper-it gets the bestht of me. Ever see thoseth cartoons I did with that Mexican rodent? I didn't wanna be mean to him, really, but that Mexican desert heat! It drove me NUTSTH!"

Bugs: "As if ya had to be DRIVEN nuts to begin with! Ya know, I saw da craziest thing the other day. I was burrowin' under a coffee bar and decided to come up for a carrot latte. There were these computers in dere with somethin' called the internet on 'em, and one guy was readin' a page that was all about you! It was did chainletter sorta thing arguin' over your bad temper in some of those later cartoon pictures you did. They liked ya better in your younger, wilder days."

Daffy: "Hey, I'm an artistht! I have matured pastht all that sthlapsthtick tomfoolery. No more "woo hoo" this and "hoo woo" that, brother. Bethidesth, I got migrains from all that bouncing around on my head!"

Image

Bugs: "Naw, I just think ya got bitter as ya got older. Say...did ya ever have the feeling you was bein'....WATCHED?"

Daffy: "Aw, now THAT routine's old hat!"

Bugs: "No, I think somebody's watchin' us from behind dis rock."

-Wile E. Coyote jumps out from behind the rock where Bugs and Daffy are sitting.

Wile E.: "So, little friends. I suppose ruining the work of a genius is all fun and games to your infantile minds. Bah! I spent months planning that trap, and you two ruined it for me in two minutes! Now I don't have anything to eat!"

Daffy: "Yeah, well it ain't exactly every day ya thsee a pile of bird theed lyin' in the middle of the road, and the leastht thing I exthpected was a booby trap! Bethidesth, it didn't work on me anyway! It was a dud!"

Wile E.: "Well, it is just as well. I am a conoissour of other game poultry besides road runners. Which is why I have followed you, my edible acquaintance. By the way, I am also quite fond of rabbit, it tastes rather like chicken."

-Wile E. Coyote reaches for Daffy's neck, Daffy bristles and gets in Wile E's face, and begins dressing him down.

Daffy: "Now look here, ya mangy sack of fleasth! THISTH little black duck ain't your meal ticket! Lay one grimy claw on even one of my pristhtine black feathersth, and you're gonna wind up in a can of Wolf brand chili!"

-Wile E. grabs Daffy anyway.

Bugs: "Hey, you! Drop the duck! Can't ya see he ain't exactly a poifect specimen? He's got troubles mac...ya wouldn't wanna eat him. Oh, and I almost forgot...he's missin' part of his lower half too!"

Wile E.: "My word! Quite unusual...oh well, I will call my culinary creation with him "erased duck, ala Wile E. Coyote, genius.""

Daffy: "Bugs! -Gack!- Help!"

Bugs: "Drop da duck, Emeril, or I won't tell ya the secret to catchin' a road runner."

Image

Wile E: "You KNOW that? Why, I have been searching for YEARS to find the perfect method!"

Bugs: "Uh huh. And I'll tell ya what it is. Butcha gotta let go of da duck, or I won't tell ya."

Wile E: "Why sure, I'll....no, wait a minute. Waiiiit a momentary increment of time. This isn't a trick is it? You're not trying to flimflam me into releasing your little friend here, are you?"

Bugs: "The deal stands cactus breath. Let go of da duck, and I'll tell ya how ya can catch all da road runners ya want. I 'tink dat's a fair trade, don't you?"

Wile E: "I am afraid you have given me an irresistible incentive. You simply MUST tell me how to catch a road runner!"

-Wile E. lets Daffy go, he gasps for breath, as he's been clutched at the neck this whole time.

Daffy: "-PANT--WHEEEZE--...You....you, I don't like."

Wile E.: "So, my cottontailed friend. What is the secret to the roadrunner capture equation? I must know!"

To be continued................................................................
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Pietro
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Postby Pietro » Tue Sep 28, 2004 6:41 am

Bugs: Well, ya see, doc, da secret ta catchin' Road Runners is simple - it's all in the feet.

Wile E: What do you mean?

Bugs: I'm sayin' ya gotta outrun da boid in order to catch him.

Image
Wile E: FAH! I've already tried that - dozens of times! Only to come to the result of failure!

(He grabs Daffy by the neck again)

Daffy: AWK!

Wile E: I KNEW this was a trick all along. You never can trust a rabbit.

Bugs: Eh, wait doc, dat was only part of what I wanted ta say. Now, in order to outrun yer meal ya must find some sort of invention dat actually woiks!

(Wile E. releases Daffy)

Wile E: Go on...

PICK UP HERE...

-Pietro:daffy:

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J. B. Warner
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Postby J. B. Warner » Tue Sep 28, 2004 9:27 am

BUGS: Let's see, you got an ACME catalog on ya?

WILE E.: Of course. I don't care whether or not I fail, it just gives me incentive to try harder the next time I order one of their products.

Daffy gives a loud false cough that sounds suspiciously like "loser". Wile E. hands Bugs the catalog, and he looks through it. His eyes stop on the mailing address - 1374 Nudnik Avenue, Hollywood, CA. He then looks elsewhere on the page and spots a plug for a nuclear-powered jet pack.

BUGS: Here's your solution, my furry feral friend - jet propulsion.

WILE E.: A jet pack? Why, I don't believe I've ever used one of those before. It all seems so obvious now! The Road Runner doesn't fly, so all I have to do is attack from the air! Gad, I'm such a genius!

DAFFY: Credit where credit is due.

Wile E. tears off the order form from the back cover and fills it out, stuffing it in a nearby mailbox. Three seconds later, a delivery truck zooms by, dropping Wile E.'s crate out the back doors.

BUGS: Ah, but you gotta love rush delivery.

Wile E. straps on the jet pack.

WILE E.: Now, I'm off to catch that Road Runner, so I won't be talking to you anymore, but thank you for your help!

BUGS: Hey, anything for a pal!

Wile E. shoots off into the distance.

BUGS: Of course, I don't see what that has to do with him...

DAFFY: So did you get the address?

BUGS: Yep - looks like we were closer than we thought. The warehouse is right in Hollywood!

DAFFY: Back into the underground, then.

Bugs spins his ears, leaps into the air, and drills into the ground. Daffy follows him.

DAFFY: Show-off.

Meanwhile, Wile E. is in hot pursuit of the Road Runner, fifty feet above the road. He dives down with his arms outstretched - but the Road Runner suddenly stops, and Wile E. crashes through the pavement. The sound of him blasting around underground can be heard until he shoots out the side of a cliff. It is then that the jet pack sputters and dies, and Wile E. falls to the crevice bottom. He crawls out of the crater his impact left in the ground and holds up a sign - "Never trust your enemies".

To be continued...
:bugs2: This post is intended for adult collectors and may contain material that is unsuitable for younger children. :daffy:


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Nick
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Postby Nick » Tue Sep 28, 2004 1:19 pm

(They arrive back in Hollywood)

Bugs: Look there’s the studio! Lets get back in the hole!


Daffy: I’m sick of this underground travelling. Lets steal a car.

Bugs: That’s not a good idea.

Daffy: Ah, you don’t take advantage of being a csthelibrity.

(They walk up to the car, and climb inside)

Daffy: You’ll be blown away by my fantastic driving skills, Bugs!


(He reverses it into two cars)


Daffy: Whoops. Got the silly thing in reversthe.

(He drives forward into a lampost, then turns around and drives, on the wrong side of the road)

Bugs: You're on the wrong side of the road you know.

Daffy: So? They get out of our way!

(They drive into a Police motorbike which somersaults in the air and crashes)

Policeman: (calm voice) Bubs. You shouldn't drive on the wrong side of the road you know... BECAUSE YOU WRECKED MY BIKEAND YOU'LL PAY FOR IT. (calm again) Is that car yours.

Daffy: Yes!

Man (offscreen): WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING WITH MY CAR?!

Policeman: Well. Well. That wraps things up. Now get down to the station house with me!

To be continued!

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Daffysleftfoot
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Postby Daffysleftfoot » Tue Sep 28, 2004 2:09 pm

Brooding in jail

Bugs: Yeah! Steal a car! We're celebrities! They can't touch us!

Daffy: Cram it! If I want sarcasm I'll move in with Janenne Garofialo. And, PEYEW! Did you even take a bath this morning?

Bugs: I even brushed my overbite. You must have eaten some spicy wings again. You know what that does to your system.

Daffy: Aw no! Don't blame your stink bombs on me.

Pepe Le Pew walks over.

Pepe: Allo, gentlemen. Eet ees so nice to 'ave some cell mates for a change.

Bugs: Pepe Le Pew? What are you doing in here?

Pepe: Zat femme fatale skunk, she finally sued me for 'arassment. And zee judge 'appened to be a militant feminist as well. Since she was a female of the feminine sex so I tried to seduce my way out of thees prison sentence. But, zat only made theengs worse. Le sigh.

Bugs: Hey, don't worry, le doc. With some help from you, we're all getting out of here.

Bugs pulls out a zip-loc bag and proceeds to capture as much of Pepe's odor as he can. Then he zips it up and puts it by the wall.

Bugs: Nyeeeeh, anyone got a match?

Everyone looks but can't find one.

Bugs: Nevermind, I'll ask the guard. Hey, ah, Wojohowitz, I brung along dis book for me to read in prison but I'm afraid I left me reading glasses at home. Could you scare up a pair if you please.

Guard: Sure, I got some. But I brought a steamy little romance novel to read during my night shift. I'll be needing them back then.

Bugs: Coiteny, thanks doc.

Bugs puts the glasses in the sun and aims the beam at the bag. Pretty soon it explodes.

Daffy: SWEET SWEET FREEDOM!!!

Bugs: C'mon Daffy, let's get you a lower half.

Pepe: Hmmmmm, living a life without zee bottom half. I don't think I could do it.

To be continued......
Jesus Needs Help - buy it on Amazon as well as on Kindle.

[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


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